Class Notes

Another late night with not enough work done to justify the hour...but I do have some ramblings:

If you're white, in college and you want to be perceived as cool, start attending meetings of minority group organizations in your area. It might be awkward at first, what with people wondering if your grandparents were of some particular ethnicity or if you just got too sloshed and wandered away from the frat boys' turf, but eventually the silent accolades will stream in. For bonus points, become an officer.

Does anyone else become strangely proud when noticing a large wound on their body for the first time and having not the slightest idea where it came from?

Honestly, if you're walking in with your punch card to get your 11th burrito free you've got some sort of problem.

Yes, Dennis Quaid really does look like Vince McMahon. No, I'm not sure which one should be more upset by this.

I've played basketball aganist this man several times. He walks his way up the court, shoves people while trying to grab rebounds and during a jump shot he either makes a kissing noise or exclaims: "Daddy...love him." Complete asshole...that is, until I saw him on CNN interviewing Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now I just can't decide whether to respect him or not.

Did Clay Aiken win something? Is he special? Why are people still mentioning his name in articles?

Four weeks into the quarter and I have no idea what my biology professor's name is.

Is it just me or is a deep-voiced woman just the sexiest thing? There must be something physiological about that. Like maybe deep-voiced women ovulate twice per month. I must find out for myself.

Hidden pleasures from staying up until 4am...Bosom Buddies is on TV RIGHT NOW!!

No one asked, but since getting paid I've bought a Fossil Arkitekt watch, some new Nikes, a new cell phone and 4 enchiladas from Taco Del Mar. I was tempted to go buy an iPod this evening, but you know what they say: A fool and his money are soon parted. Aack!

Heh, a fool and his girlfriend...

If you want to see a grown man cower and run away just put him on a racquetball court for the first time in his life. It's comedy, you know.

God, this show is dumb.

Yeah, Napoleon Dynamite was pretty good. But, come on, it wasn't all that. Way to get some Jamiroquai in there, though. Go producers!

Alright, then. Time to go to bed, get up and get back on track. Love you all out there...make today a good one.