Trees Be Damned

Right to the point this time. More about distributing flyers. Standing in Sproul Plaza as thousands of people float, mill about and whiz by you...well, it's nothing really. Holding a knapsack full of electric blue papers that scream "Increase Your Reading Speed" is the kind of thing that makes one yearn to be a floater, a miller or a whizzer. Well, maybe not a whizzer but you get the idea. The objective is to intercept these people and get the flyer in their hand. That's it. If the person looks at the flyer then it's a success. That is how a lot of advertising works, of course. If you're like me and you don't really want to kick the Verizon Wireless guy's ass but you just want to slap him so that his glasses go askew and say to him: "Dude. Just stop," then the advertising campaign has succeeded. Is this a good way to get people to attend a speed-reading course? Well, I guess that's why flyering is the cheapest form of advertising.

The best way to had out flyers to people who do not want them is to mill about (Eureka! I have acheived my dream!!) in something of a stupor, never making eye contact with anyone because they will try to drift away from you otherwise. This leads to a chase will can cause you to lose the prime position staked out. Position, you ask? Of course! You're not the only dealer out there, rookie! There's the women's rugby team and the Asian sorority (Is there another kind at Cal?) and the guy off in the corner handing out the Bush '04 stickers without saying anything. You get the idea. If you walk by the dude, just take the flyer and throw it away or something. Relieve the flyer man's burden by grabbing a sheet of paper. I'll save telemarketnig for another time.