Summer 1, WhatUpThen 0

I know that 99.9% of those reading this page are close, personal friends of mine. But whether you are someone I talk with frequently or a 63-year old grandmother from Fullerton who just happened upon this page while planning your extreme sports vacation, I appreciate you taking the time to read. So, I'm back at my computer to continue Ice Climber for an indefinite period. Keep checking back and be irresistibly entertained.

!!

So! My summer was rather miserable! How was yours?! I worked three of the worst jobs imaginable...packing boxes at a warehouse, passing out speed-reading flyers at UC Berkeley and the absolute freaking bottom, telemarketing ("Good evening, are you the lady of the house?"). I have comedic horror stories about each one so maybe I'll make those blog topics for the rest of this week. Stay tuned.

What else? I'm totally not ready for school. Having difficulty deciding what to take and how much of it to take. Got a thesis to write that I should already have started. I'm living in the same apartment complex but I could swear my new room is smaller than last year's. On the bright side, this is my last year of school and using my secret weapon (e-m-p-l-o-y-m-e-n-t) I should be able to make it just a little more exciting than last year.

Crap Summer Item #3? I'm in the middle of getting PAINFUL rabies shots because fucking Lassie has separation anxiety. While walking through a Costa Rican thunderstorm wearing sandals and soaked pants and carrying a duffel bag full of clothing, goddamn Lassie Jr. decided to escape from his yard and run up to take a bite out of my ass. Okay, it was my leg but it was a pain in the ass. And hassling with the owners and the vet and the first doctor and the second doctor and the nurse and the embassy and the third doctor and the doctor in California and the doctor in Seattle...I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?!?! And how do people without health insurance survive? The hospital up here charges $250 per rabies shot. $250 EACH!!! You need five shots if you've been bitten to protect you from an absolutely fatal disease. So, because Manuel Rojas of el Alto in Guadalupe in San Jose, Costa Rica couldn't keep his dog on a leash, a hypothetical person would be faced with a) paying $1250 to not die, b) dying, or c) not paying and hoping like hell a stellar pet owner like Mr. Rojas takes his dog to the vet regularly. You say leash or death. Leash, please.

And, of course, the motherfucking bunker-buster...my girlfriend left me this summer. I mean, just totally left me for another guy. It wasn't a gradual and expected thing like when my aunt died this summer while I was visiting her; it was a hit-from-behind, devastating, can't-do-shit-about-it thing like when I lost a day on my short vacation because the plane was delayed causing me to miss the only flight to San Jose. Needless to say for those of you who have experienced this before, the breakup is the most rattling of the events. And summer is over, but I'm still rattled. She and I have reached a tenuous (?) resolution, but I don't know how it will resolve. How can a person ever forgive and forget a punishment he did not deserve?

BUT ENOUGH COMPLAINING!!

BEC has been my slogan for the past couple of weeks and I haven't lived up to it. Yet, the school year is starting; this is my domain. I always say that I don't have problems, the guy who had to pay for his rabies shots has problems; the guy who telelmarkets for a living has problems, and so on. The time has come to make a little luck for myself and laugh off the summer. Did I do a good job of making you laugh and feel sympathetic at once? If so, then just keep returning to this blog and reap the fruits of my labor as I close this seasonal chapter and open up a bright new one. Bitch.