Hail them again, Ensign!

Interesting. I tend to close channels of communication with some individuals based on less-than-adequate reasons. Everyone does this, I know. And when those abandoned parties unexpectedly reopen communications, it's equal parts shock, relief and guilt. Can you tell this recently happened to me??

So my advice to all those in this situation: experiencing an unexpected, yet welcome reestablishing of communication with an ex-wife, old friend or long-lost sister, I offer this advice...

(Damn, how do you type a bullet on a Mac?)

1. Be honest. Did you misrepresent yourself before? Well, now you've had some extra time to consider who you are. So show off your your newfound knowledge...be endless in a victory of yourself.

2. Be explicit. Did you ask her to sleep with you before and she said no? Fuck it, man. Ask her again. You can't hit the apple if you don't fire the arrow. And if you did hit it on the first try, you're just a damn good archer.

3. Be grateful. People today don't value one another...stranger, friends and family alike. So rejoice (in a non-religious fashion) that the abandoned person values you enough to reopen that channel. That can't possibly be a bad thing!

Personal Interactions

Even at the ripe old age of 23, I'm still very new to the boyfriend business. Plus, while my relationship with my girlfriend is enjoyable -- no, scratch that...it's the fucking BOMB -- the long-distance nature of it has not really accelerated my progress with some of the physical aspects of dating. I'm not even talking about sex (although if YOU want to talk about sex feel free to leave a comment). I'm talking about the little, physical, public interactions between a man and a woman that lets everyone know they're together. I'm talking issues of personal space, here.

I'm just slightly concerned that I'll have very poor girlfriend interaction skills when she and I reunite this summer because none of my interactions with women during this school year have been of the girlfriend type. For clarification, here are some of the ways I've acted in various situations up here:

To a female classmate: "You've been teaching for 15 years?? Wow, that makes you...40, huh? Hey, I gotta catch this bus."

Joining a young woman out to dinner: "Uh...you brought your wallet, right?"

Playing basketball against a young woman: "GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE, BIAAAAATCH!!!"

I'm sure you can understand my concern as none of these interactions are really suitable if I want to remain in a relationship. Maybe for pleasure reading this summer I can take in "Dating for Dummies."